Now it's HIS turn!

I have decided one thing.
Now onwards, if anyone is going to suffer due to this break-up, it's him.
If anyone is going to get desperate to just have one conversation or one cup of coffee together, it's him.
If anyone is going miss someone terribly, stay awake till 5 am due to lack of sleep, let all this affect work , health, friendships, it's him.

I am out of this mess!

Next Week will be hard!

A big test coming up next week-
There is this situation where our paths will cross again- it's unavoidable- and though it's just for one evening, I want to ensure that I give him a complete cold shoulder treatment.
That's where I am worried- if I see him right in front of me, will I be able to hold my fort? Or will I get emotional?
But WTF, he doesn't exist for me anymore!
I have told myself that I will be allowed to splurge on some cool shopping but if and only if I do well and keep my self-respect in tact in that tricky situation.
Now these little challenges have begun to excite me.

A Big Step Forward- Ready for a Miracle !!!

You have good days and then you have bad days. Last few days were better, I thought I was improving. But this is the holiday season and I guess that's the terrible period for anybody who is newly single and just out of a bad break-up. The fact that he is going to have a blast celebrating the festivities with his new girlfriend is even more irritating.
Well I guess it's just my bad karma. I must have done something bad -unknowingly hurt someone terribly sometime- and it's just coming back to me.

But I have made progress in one big area- Now I am able to see him as he is- a liar, a coward, a loser. So I don't really feel any residual love towards him, nor do I feel insecure or lonely or afraid without him. I don't feel that I am going to lose some happiness that I could have had in future with him. I am sure life with him would have been nothing great and now at least I can find somebody else who is worthy of my love :)

Slowly slowly, the romantic feelings for him are just disappearing.

I know that the reasn of this break-up is because he isn't Good Enough for me. And I just know this.

He still tells me that that girl is just a good friend and he is single and he doesn't think he can ever love anybody else. He even told me that that girl already has a boyfriend and there is no way he can ever feel anything for her. I don't know what to trust. But now I don't even care.

I do trust that if he is indeed saying the truth, then we will be together soon- on my terms. and if he is a liar and a jerk, then I am not taking him back. I need someone who deserves my love. It's not a freebie available to anyone who shows up.

It's great to feel that this man doesn't have that HOLD on me anymore. God is kind.

There comes a big vacuum in one's life after a break-up.
It's very annoying when you are the lonely one and your ex-partner has found somebody else and is having a good time. The fact that my ex is now dating his ex-ex and painting the town red with her is so irritating. I don't know what kind of relationship they have- both of them are selfish and superficial people- but still- it's just so annoying.
I guess that is the hardest part to digest.
He fools me, he lies to me, he takes me for a ride, he breaks my heart in an extremely cruel manner- and- nothing happens to him! He gets together with his ex and life is just so perfect for him. To top it all, he gets a promotion, and makes a lot of money, and everyone thinks he and his old-now-renewed girl are a perfect couple. How picture-perfect! How damn UNFAIR!!!
"It's not fair!!!" aah well- but one needs to just accept and digest these things believing that in the end, somehow everything will balance and justice will be done in some inexplicable way.

Break-up Tips : What have I learnt!

1. It's OK to cry- but not in public. It's OK to cry in front of the person who has broken ur heart. But don't expect them to start crying with you or to wipe your tears.
2. Don't eat junk food or get drunk or smoke or do drugs. (I do not do the last three things as a matter of value system, but I am guilty of trying to drown my sorrow in Pizza, icecreams and pastries.) But it will only make you feel bad later and add kilos to your weight or pimples to your radiant face. Make healthy choices.
3. Don't fall for anyone suddenly on rebound. Don't talk to strangers. It's OK to be friends with new people, but don't rush into a physical contact. A break-up is bad enough, but you don't want to get stuck with something life-threatening like HIV for the rest of your life.
4. In spite of all that has happened, I am still his well-wisher. It's important for me that I am not doing or even wishing for anything bad to happen in his life. This makes me the bigger person and I can walk away from him feeling like a Saint rather than a fellow fighter. Remember what Christ said - "Father, forgive them. They don't know what they're doing." But if such kind of behaviour is your ex's pattern, then by all means, spread the word so that new victims can be warned.

What's this about!

I created this blog to vent my frustrations- I mean- to give my feelings an outlet and to help me move on, after my bitter break-up with the WORST GUY IN THE WORLD after a relationship that had just started to bloom. Why and how this guy seemed so perfect and like the 'best thing ever happened to me' till 1-2 months ago...is still a question I am asking myself and I don't have answers for.

He has made a royal mockery of my feelings, my loyalty and my devotion. He has literally taken my heart and stomped over it. Taken a pair of scizzors and chopped off my dreams.

The guy who couldn't stop dreaming about me and talking about me now doesn't want to see me for 5 minutes.

Why does this happen? Now I would really give a good handsome amount cash prize if someone can answer this question!

Why do nice girls like me fall for bad guys? Why do nice guys fall for bad girls?
There are nice guys in my friend circle, who are asking me out. But why is it that I don't feel like going out with them but I am still thinking about that Jerk of the Jerks?